i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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