first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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