Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
zippers are such a cool invention
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
