P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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