I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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