Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
