dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
