i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
