How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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