I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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