I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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