I need help removing her.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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