Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
