But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
