i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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