I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
