Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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