He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
