i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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