Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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