i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
