SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
