He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
