Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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