I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
