Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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