How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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