kristin has been a bad kristin
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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