The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
