I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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