my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
