he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize