I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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