Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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