you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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