i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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