One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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