My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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