I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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