I am spending my child support on dildos
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
