Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
