Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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