arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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