So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
