Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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