Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
