Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
