i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
