Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
