If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
