This girl is more easily done than said...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
