i will never coherently bang her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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