Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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