Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
